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by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: Guiding Light
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, Community: halfamoon, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-12
Updated: 2012-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-31 01:32:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Somewhere I have never traveled, let this be the place</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

> Date Written: 12 February 2012  
> Word Count: 367  
> Written for: [](http://halfamoon.livejournal.com/profile)[**halfamoon**](http://halfamoon.livejournal.com/) 2012  
>  Summary: _Somewhere I have never traveled, let this be the place_.  
>  Spoilers: AU stream of consciousness during Natalia's retreat after finding out she was pregnant.  
> Warnings: No standard warnings apply, but it's definitely angsty as hell in a religious way.  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: <http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/>  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Guiding Light," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of TeleNext Media, RDF Television, Procter & Gamble Productions, and CBS Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Guiding Light," CBS, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Yeah, I have no idea where this came from. Once again, I started writing based on the first line, without any clue as to who I was writing about. I briefly thought this might be my first _Xena: Warrior Princess_ piece, but it didn't feel quite right. And clearly, I have a muse who wants to deal with angst and religion today. *shrugs* I'll just accept that it was something I got to write today.
> 
> Dedication: My muses, as always…
> 
> Beta: Not currently beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. I reserve the right to futz with this down the line when I get someone to beta for me.

_Somewhere I have never traveled, let this be the place_.

My mantra has kept me company for more miles than I care to count. Doubtless, it will keep me company for many more. The distance between us is stretching my patience thin, but who am I to second guess God's will?

I have no idea where I'm meant to go, but I will continue on until I know that I am where I'm meant to be. No matter that every single step takes me farther and farther from the woman that I love more than anything in this world.

I have betrayed her, betrayed our new love, our fragile trust. I can never again return home to the warmth of her love and acceptance. She will never again allow me the opportunity to fully repent for this sin of mine.

Each weary step leads me into the unknown, torment on all sides, until I collapse in a heap when I can no longer continue. Sleep does not come easily either, filled with the demons of my sins. Job was made of far stronger stuff than I could ever hope to be. Jesus could withstand Satan's torments in the desert, but I cannot hope to survive this hell I am in.

*****

Dawn breaks far too early for my comfort, but I must trudge on.

_"Come back to me, love."_

The words are a poisonously deceptive trick from my demons.

_"I need you to come back to me. We all need you. We can't live without you."_

Her face floats before me, and I can see the anguish in her green eyes. That look sends an arrow through my heart, knowing that I am still causing her pain.

_"I don't care what happened. You accepted Emma into your life. I will accept this baby into mine. Into_ our _life together. We're a family, and we need you to come back to us."_

Could she be telling the truth? Or is this just another trick of Satan's?

_You have suffered enough, child. Repent no longer for perceived sins. Return to your family, your home._

Tears fill my eyes as God's love and forgiveness fill me. I am going home.


End file.
